Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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