**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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