I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
