I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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