Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
