so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
