So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
