i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
