And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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