glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Success! We fucked roommates!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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