I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
