evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
