I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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