Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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