Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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