Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
