my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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