i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
