you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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