Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
