she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
