your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
