If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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