Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Blood and glitter go together right?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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