do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
