She is in my trunk
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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