I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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