I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
