The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
