i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
