i will never coherently bang her
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
