used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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