Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
