Having a random hookup so left but love u
I CAN MOONWALK!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
