8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
