I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
