Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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