He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
