he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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