Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
