Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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