no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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