just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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