so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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