gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
