Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
