When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
