And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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