I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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