Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
