Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
