is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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